Hindsight has been on my mind lately. The What Ifs, the Why Didn't I do That, or Think of That.
Hindsight (noun) ; the ability to understand an event or a situation only after it has happened.
In the months since the Breakdown, I've had to learn the hard way to be more open, honest and truthful to myself and to others. Not solely concentrated on my mental health, but also in my wants, desires, and needs. And what I expect of others. The biggest positive of the last few months is that I have been able to repair the relationships around myself, and enter into a more honest and open dialogue with them, and changing the dynamics of those relationships. This has also led to new, kind, and genuine friendships based on that.
The downside?
Realising that by you being open and honest, with yourself and others, means that some people don't want to know. They think that you are attention seeking, or too wrapped up in yourself, or simply just cannot handle the fact that you've been through a severe crisis and illness, preferring to not acknowledge this. This hurts the hardest when it's people you have known for a very long time, and have stopped contact with you. The simplest words - "hey, how is it going?" - have the ability to brighten anybody's day. This doesn't mean that this person is going to go into a diatribe of their mood levels on this day, or whatnot. And if they do? Listen. Be there.
And so, therefore, that leads to hindsight. What does it mean for you? Is it positive, or negative? Emotional?
Hindsight is one of life's greatest lessons. If you don't learn from having some retrospect of something that has occurred in your past, then you are doomed to repeat the same mistakes. Over and over. This relates to your own mental heatth, to your past relationships of any form, what sex or love means to you, even a routine that you've always undertaken every single day then one day, it simply stops working for you.
Hindsight, for me, has meant that I am able to examine what happened in the months and weeks leading up to the Breakdown, and also, what I did to help myself in the 20+ years of suffering from mild depression and anxiety. Why wasn't it working anymore? What happened to my usual coping mechanisms? What triggered this episode, and so severely? How is it that I'm the way I am?And so on.
It's not a bad thing at all. If anything, it has enabled me to become more confident, more frank and upfront. It's certainly not relating just to my own mental health, but my own life, my sexuality and ideals of what love is, what I want out of the relationships around me, and to be able to open up honest dialogue with those close to me. This is a part of my ongoing journey to be more like myself. Because, in the past, when I wasn't honest with myself, and because it was just easier for other people to make the decisions and steamroll over me, this meant I was literally trampled on so much that I became a person who was always "agreeable" and always went along with what others wanted and expected of me. Not anymore.
That is hindsight. Retrospect.
Hindsight (noun) ; the ability to understand an event or a situation only after it has happened.
In the months since the Breakdown, I've had to learn the hard way to be more open, honest and truthful to myself and to others. Not solely concentrated on my mental health, but also in my wants, desires, and needs. And what I expect of others. The biggest positive of the last few months is that I have been able to repair the relationships around myself, and enter into a more honest and open dialogue with them, and changing the dynamics of those relationships. This has also led to new, kind, and genuine friendships based on that.
The downside?
Realising that by you being open and honest, with yourself and others, means that some people don't want to know. They think that you are attention seeking, or too wrapped up in yourself, or simply just cannot handle the fact that you've been through a severe crisis and illness, preferring to not acknowledge this. This hurts the hardest when it's people you have known for a very long time, and have stopped contact with you. The simplest words - "hey, how is it going?" - have the ability to brighten anybody's day. This doesn't mean that this person is going to go into a diatribe of their mood levels on this day, or whatnot. And if they do? Listen. Be there.
And so, therefore, that leads to hindsight. What does it mean for you? Is it positive, or negative? Emotional?
Hindsight is one of life's greatest lessons. If you don't learn from having some retrospect of something that has occurred in your past, then you are doomed to repeat the same mistakes. Over and over. This relates to your own mental heatth, to your past relationships of any form, what sex or love means to you, even a routine that you've always undertaken every single day then one day, it simply stops working for you.
Hindsight, for me, has meant that I am able to examine what happened in the months and weeks leading up to the Breakdown, and also, what I did to help myself in the 20+ years of suffering from mild depression and anxiety. Why wasn't it working anymore? What happened to my usual coping mechanisms? What triggered this episode, and so severely? How is it that I'm the way I am?And so on.
It's not a bad thing at all. If anything, it has enabled me to become more confident, more frank and upfront. It's certainly not relating just to my own mental health, but my own life, my sexuality and ideals of what love is, what I want out of the relationships around me, and to be able to open up honest dialogue with those close to me. This is a part of my ongoing journey to be more like myself. Because, in the past, when I wasn't honest with myself, and because it was just easier for other people to make the decisions and steamroll over me, this meant I was literally trampled on so much that I became a person who was always "agreeable" and always went along with what others wanted and expected of me. Not anymore.
That is hindsight. Retrospect.
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